Dealing with Difficult Thoughts of the Tragic Charlie Kirk Shooting, and a Sick Dog
September 11 2025 - Thursday - 7:37am
Entry #23
Today, I have a lot to talk about. I almost filled every line of a sticky note (except one) with jots on writing points. So, let’s begin from the start. Yesterday, I spent a good chunk of my day sanding the epoxy table legs. It took a LONG time. I’m a little disappointed with the gaps in the center half lap joint. I did. I think I should have taken more care when doing the glue-up. But, in the end, it looks pretty good. I’ll just have to think of some solutions to hide the gaps. The simplest is to use glue and sawdust to “fill it in,” but part of me was thinking of doing an interesting maple accent wrap around it. The maple wrap would hide the uglyish sapwood, which is only ugly now because of the joint I went with. I’m just worried the maple could look ugly or out of place. I’ll have to think it over some more. Maybe try the filler first. It’ll be hidden if I go with the wrap anyways. My goal today is to get the top sanded with 80 grit, cut to size, and maybe attached to the legs to get an idea on the look, and test for racking. I also want to get the legs cut to be flat, so I can stand it up to see how it’s looking. I could also get the adjustable feet in today. So after finishing with the sanding, I decided to begin editing the video for my dust collector. As I was editing, Zoe came to me with breaking news,
Charlie Kirk was shot during an event in Utah. It was so early after the shooting that we easily got the uncensored video of the tragic event. Look, I’m not familiar with the guy; I know of him, but I didn’t know how many people hated him. Putting aside the Murderer, social media was flooded with happiness and celebration. It was actually disgusting. I couldn’t believe how many Twitter posts were under the “top” section, making jokes or just being happy... What is wrong with people? Whether you like someone or not, Murder is not something to cheer about. Comparing him to Hitler, who ordered the murder of millions, is not the same. I genuinely couldn’t stop refreshing, not only to get updates on his condition and the situation, but to sit in awe at how disgusting people were being. I’m actually upset he died, not only because I’m an actual human being, but also because I wanted him to win. I wanted these people, who are as evil as the murderer, to lose. They don’t deserve to win. I don’t know why this had the effect it did on me, but I couldn’t edit. I felt too invested, and again, I didn’t really know much of him except for seeing a few valid videos of his. Absolutely wild the way the world is.
I ended up getting some editing done, but that was mostly it for my night, until around 1 am. I was deep in my sleep until I was woken by Zoe, crying. Years ago, this was normal; she’d wake me up crying because of bad thoughts, sometimes of friends, the current situations going on, her grandmother, or something else. It’s been a long time since this has happened, but last night, it happened. She was mainly upset about her grandmother; she felt she died thinking her family hated her. Quick recap: her grandmother screwed Zoe’s mom over, then abandoned the family. Zoe had no contact with her for years, but early in our relationship, I suggested we try to find her, mainly because of how much the subject upset Zoe. We were able to find the old age home she was at, but when we visited, we found out she had passed away that year. I believe we were told her death was from old age and not from an illness, but this news wasn’t good news for Zoe. She was happy to have closure, but regrets not saying goodbye. I comforted her every time she’d wake me up crying, including last night. I feel bad because I can only do so much when I’m half asleep. She told me this morning that I helped a lot, which I hope is true. She also mentioned her fear of me dying early in life and losing me; I think she said the same about Kya (our dog). I’m thinking all of these bad thoughts are due to the Charlie Kirk death. I know what made her uncomfortable a lot from it was how young he was, and his family, who lost a husband and father.
I was able to calm her down and fall back asleep. I then woke up to my alarm. I actually have 3 alarms set 5-10 mins apart, but for the first time in a long time, I didn’t get up from my first one. When I did get up, Kya made a vomiting sound. Zoe turned over and asked, “Did Kya just puke?” She didn’t, but started to make the sound again, we rushed her off the bed, and she began vomiting... 10 times. Kya had to have some serious surgery a few years ago, and it was due to a blockage in her intestines. When that happened, it began with continuous vomiting. We took Kya for a walk, and she acted very normal. We were thinking it could be the food we were giving her. Our friend gave us a bunch of meat scraps from a cow, but we didn’t realize that it was going to be mostly the fat. We’ve given it to her a few times before, and each time she’s acted like she’s going to vomit, but never has. We decided not to give her it anymore, but Zoe decided to yesterday because she forgot to take her normal food out to thaw, and the scraps thaw a lot quicker. We’ve decided to just toss the scraps now instead. So far she’s been okay, but we’re holding off on feeding her and keeping an eye on her. The last thing I had on my list to write about was that I made another sale on a napkin holder, but I think I previously mentioned it. At least I get to test my jig.
